Monday, January 17, 2011

seriously...where is my muzzle

so everyone knows i have a knack for inapropriatly speaking during background work and today was no exception. Here is some background on the inapropriate comment. Basically some douche tard who was supposed to have a line in the show i was doing background for today decided he had better things to do than show up for work (complete ahole...just fyi 1 line of dialogue on this show was worth a grand) so they just pulled a lucky mfer from background taft hartleyd him on the spot and gave hime the line (so kiddies there is hope...lucky sh*t like that can happen when you are contemplating your miserable life doing background thinking jumping out the window of the shitty holding might be a better option (oh wait thats just me)...not to me of course..but to others..) so basically me and this other girl started talking about bump ups (for those lucky enough not to be familiar with the background terms it means that they have to pay you more money when they ask you to do anything but sit or walk) aka making out with a stranger, shoving a banana in your mouth(u know who you are ;))or giving you a line...these are all things which they are required to pay you more was at this point in our discussion my friend aliana said that she once got a bump for making out with someone to which my obvious reply was "screw it ill make out with someone girl, guy, a tree whatever if they pay me more" it was at this point i see the person standing directly behind aliana looking at me and giggling...i then realize that this person chuckling at me is jim belushi (thats right folks the star of the show...oh and did i mention he is also the brother of john belushi) great clearly i have embarrased myself inapropriately yet again but thats not all...he goes to do his scene...and clearly i am staring off into lala land (the special place in my head...not actually the landscape of la) and i feel someone staring at me...alaina then turns to me and goes "dude jim belushi is totally staring at you" clearly...and prob not in a good way...prob more in a i pity this pathetic girl way...she must really be hurtin for cash cuz she just admitted she wld make out with a tree... after his scene he then passes me while he is getting back into his beemer (a car he is way too old to drive by the you dont look cool you just kind of look like a creepy chester the molester...yeah i went there) looks at me and starts singing to me...listen buddy this may impress some other fools but clearly i am not that chica...(clearly you prob think you have a chance cuz i just admitted i wld make out with a tree...but im not that girl...unless you give me a line and then maybe you'll get a shot...jk) also we all know i hate being stared at so either sh*t or get off the pot...meaning say something to me or stop fing staring at my stupid face...i already know i am accidentally inapropriate...

in other news i made out with a guy on sat night (so haha in your face mom) granted i think he was not straight but thats besides the point...he kept calling me beautiful and telling his entourage of boys that he thought i was so beautiful...clearly me being the bluntest person on the face of the earth responds with "what are you gay or straight i can't tell" (did i mention i was at a gay bar...and no i am not gay..i just hang out with a lot of gays...i mean guys..that i love and are the most fabulous people on earth so all you homophobes out there can shove it) at which point he grabs my face and shoves it down my throat and then goes "does that awnser your question" to which i say "um no" i then ran away bcz i was confused and a lil scared...and i win the awesome points for this weekend..clearly im a hot commodity ;)

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