Friday, September 14, 2012

freak shows galore

So I know that not everyone is from america.... but lets talk about some restaruant etiquette i get it i lived in other countries i'm not so self absorbed as to think that everyone abides by what we do in america. But i full on think that it is your responsibility if you are going to travel to another country or if foriegners are going to travel here then they should make themselves abreast on the customs that go along with tipping!!!!!! For example if you are traveling to america you should know WE TIP HERE!!!! Figure it the fuck out and don't be a rude asshole. I only say this because i witnessed one of my friends getting totally screwed by some douche who full on new he should have been leaving her money. Here's the thing the place where i work is right on hollywood in addition to the riff raff we have to put up with which ill get to in a second...we also have to put up with everyone being a tw*t and not tipping so it is up to our discretion to add gratuity or not...(i personally think gratuity should be added to everybody that walks through the doors...foreign or not) so this foreign man...(i wont say which country but lets just say it has a reputation for not being the nicest and they like to eat snails) walks up to one of the waitresses and goes "vat is tis" (translation: what is this) the server says "oh that is the gratuity sir" to which he proceeds to wag his finger in her face and yell "i decide what i vant to leave"... so the server being sweet says ok sir i can take it off for you...and then he leaves her 7 cents. 7 cents...Listen freakshow this inst mcdonalds...if you decide you dont want to tip then ill decide to give you half the service. but hey i'm not prejudiced against the foriegn ones i have also witnessed some RUDE ASS AMEICAN ASSHOLES as well. The other night as i was standing at my cart trying to ignore the homeless that like to call me a freak...(we'll get to that) some dude comes up to me and goes "uh where do we pay" ok now i know some people dont get out much...but really how stupid are obviously wait for your server to give you the check clearly because she has waited on you all night and that is the apropriate thing to i look like a register... so fine whatever i tell the server she gives them their bill while they impatiantely stare at me(geez im so sorry you ate food and now we are making you pay for inconsiderate of us...) they then give her a credit card and when she gives them back the slip not only do they refuse to sign it but they walk out without leaving her one red cent...oh no way loser hommie does not play that i made the server chase them down the street and when she got them to finally sign she goes "you know i do live off my tips that i get here..." and this stank ass bitch then reaches into her bag and pulls out 3 crumpled 3 dollar bills and hands them to her....really bitch time you and your man can stay home and eat some tv dinners while staring at each other with stank ass faces.. I guess part of the reason i get so agressively angry is because i have to deal with every dipshit that comes in and goes out of that place...i am a hostess i seat people believe it or not there is a method to my madness...i probably wouldnt hate people so much if they utilizied that skill that we all learned in kindgertan....the skill of reading i mean i know some of us didnt go to no fancy education or nothing..(yes i am writing sarcasticly) but i believe everyone can see the 3 foot sign that says PLEASE WAIT TO BE SEATEED and ok ill even give it you that some people cant read english but when you see the girl standing in front of the door behind the giant podium shouldnt that be a sign to stop and wait!!!! so yes when you walk past me i will look at you like your a moron because in fact you are...and if you ask me a stupid question like oh so do we just go in and seat ourselves i again will look at you like you the freakshow that you are and point to the sign...and say yeah ill seat you...and god help those ignoramouses that seat themselves..i will let you sit there and then purposely tell the server to let you wait...why because your a rude jerk and are slowly killing my soul..(i probably could get in trouble if anybody who came in and read this took offense...but then i remember these are the assholes who dont read so i'm good). although its not all bad because i do get to watch the homeless entertainment that goes on in the streeet...we have the girl on drugs who likes to sing and dance and scream at people in front of the restaruant and occasionaly through herself on the ground and roll around...not to be confused with the homeless girl on drugs who likes to scream at our customers break our signs and then go lie down in traffic while ripping up news paper in the street and then running acroos the street to the burger place literally taking burgers our of peoples mouths and then throwing them at them...we also have the homeless toothless lady called skooby who bangs the one legged homeless guy in the wheel chair and the rocker guy who is tweaked out on meth who stands in front of me and dances...oh good times...and yes this is all true...and i vent about it right here all for your entertainment ;) so thank you homeless crazies your trash is definitely someone else's treasure.....

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