Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Huh...

So everyone knows that I am super akward and super deaf (i basically have the hearing of an 80 year old man) and most people tend to mumble so I end up shouting out them so everyone within a ten mile radius can hear..."i'm sorry sir did you see you wanted a CHEESEBURGER WELL DONE" at which point I either got it right and they stare at me akwardly and wonder why the fuck i am yelling at them or I got it wrong and they still akwardly stare at me and wonder why the fuck i am yelling at them. To be honest I honestly miss 90% of what people are telling me (especially if they are trying to make a joke at which point i do the joey tribiany akward smile and laugh because I have no idea what the fuck you are saying to me) Any who...sometimes like today that shit can really bite me in the ass...So basically today I was discussing with one of my coworkers how i might have to leave early and clearly I was talking loud so that everyone in china would be able to hear my plans (hey i know i need miracle ear) So this guy at my table goes "oh so what time do you get off" and I just assume he overheard me talking to my coworker so i said "Probably around 4" and then he said something that i couldn't hear and i was just akwardly staring at him cuz i honestly had no idea what he said...and then i guess he expected a response and so he goes "oh cuz i get off a lot later" as to which i don't get the hint and i'm still confused why he is talking to me and why he thinks I give a fuck when he gets off...to which i'm like "oh cool" and still akwardly stare at him...to which he then goes "oh cuz if you got off later i was gonna see if you were around when i got off" to which i then still don't catch on and continue to stare at him and then laugh becuase I am so akward...and then about ten minutes later it dawns on me...oh shit he is trying to ask me out...and then i say "oh yeah well I work everyday I'm around" and then he goes "ok maybe i'll see you around" and then i half smile and walk away....and then finally come to and put it all together...oh shit he was trying to ask me out and now he thinks i am the bitch that blew him off...when in actuality it was because i couldn't hear what the fuck he was saying in the first place and then we had this akward stand off...until i realized wtf he wanted. I could have been a normal person and been like well here's my number lets hang out another time....or he could have given me his number too...i guess...anyway I'm sure there are about a million different ways that that could have gone down if i was a normal person...and in all honesty i was so taken about by what was happening i'm pretty sure my brain temporary left my body and leaked out my ear....so yeah it was all very weird but made me laugh cuz honestly this type of stuff would happen to me...although i did leave the door open for him to stalk me if he really wanted...i told him i work everyday like a phsycho...wow i'm a winner....i should come with a warning label...something to the effect of ...if you want to date this....good luck...extremely akward and nods and smiles inapropriately when she can't hear crap....line up boys ill be waiting ;) p.s i could use the word akward anymore in this post (if you play a drinking game to the word akward in this post i bet you'll be shitfaced before you finish ;) you're welcome )

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